Lorehammer - A Warhammer 40k Podcast

Lorehammer is dedicated to answering all your story based questions about Warhammer 40K. Join Erik, Jordan, and Mark as they attempt to simplify this massively complex world.

48 - Grots, Snots, and Squigs!

May 23rd, 2019

“Oi! Yous! Yah yous! Git yah grot behind ova ‘ere an clean up dis mess! An when yah done, CMERE SOES I CAN EAT YA!”

oh the life of a grot... sadly, this one didn’t live beyond this encounter with his master. In fact, most don’t survive very long at all! In today’s episode, you’ll hear all about the lower members that make up Ork society.

Joining us today is Skyler, and a new guest, Todd!

47 - Aeldari: Path of the Warrior, Part 2

May 2nd, 2019

This is the second episode about Aspect Warriors! We finish up with everything about them.

Joining us is Peter, our Eldar expert, and James, hereon out referred to as Jimothy.

Bonus Episode 9 - Mark contracts the Obliterator Virus

April 24th, 2019

Welcome to another bonus installment of Lorehammer! In this purely bonus episode, Mark begins to describe the setting behind his new Obliterator themed army. If you have suggestions for him, well you can message us on Facebook at Lorehammer, send us an email at lorehammerpodcast@gmail.com, or follow us on Instagram and bug us there!

Joining us for the last time, is Christian.

46 - Aeldari: Path of the Warrior, Part 1

April 17th, 2019

Spoken of in hushed whispers. Regarded with fear, awe, and dread all at once. Reviled, and yet required. These Aspect Warriors are the protectors of the Aeldari. They are the manifest will of Khaela Mensha Khaine, the Eldar God of War.

In this first of two parts, we talk about what it means to be an Aspect Warrior. We'll talk about Shrines, Aspects and Exarchs. Stay tuned for the next part of this episode, where we finish going through the individual Aspects.

Joining us is Peter, our resident Eldar expert, and Frank, who hasn't joined us since the release of our 3rd episode!

45 - Skitarii

April 4th, 2019

Hey you! Yes you! Do you love the Omnissiah? Do you REALLY love Him!? Cause if you do, we have just the place for you! Join other faithful ones as we... change... you so you can serve Him better! Slow runner with those malnourished legs? No problem! We'll give you new ones! Shaky aim? Not to worry! We'll install a computer *in your brain* to do that! Still have a free will? EASY! We'll install a backdoor program that allows anyone with the right tools to override your individuality and force you to bend to their will!

Welcome, to the Skitarri!

Joining us for this episode, are Stephen and the Archmagos himself, Colyn.

Listener Lore 3

March 27th, 2019

'Ere we goooooo!!!!! Another round of listener submitted stories for your ear holes. On this episode we read about Tim's Knight House Koldere, Graham's world of Viđrfold, and Adam's Imperial Guard Regiment, the 5 by 5. Thanks for the submissions, and remember, if you have any stories from 40k that you want to share with us and have us morons critique it, email us at lorehammerpodcast@gmail.com!

See you soon!

44 - The Astronomican

March 20th, 2019

This episode is everything Astrological! Wait no... In this episode we're studying Astronomy! That's not right either... This episode is about Cosmology! (nailed it).

We wanted to finish our space travel series with an in depth look at what the Astronomican really is, where it came from, and how it works. We seemed to find a lot of our own misconceptions about this item, so we think you'll also find some good information in this!

Joining us once again, is Micah, and for the last time, Christian!

Bonus Episode 8 - The Dylan Show

March 12th, 2019

In this bonus episode, our very own Dylan wanted for people just to hear us chat. In it, we talk about a plethora of topics, ranging from fantasy and hobby to life! Enjoy some banter and nonsensical conversation. BUT! Dylan also shares with us a rap that he had written about Lorehammer, and to be honest... it's awesome.

Enjoi!

43 - Navis Nobilite

March 7th, 2019

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stare into the warp? Would you find something staring back? Could you keep your sanity? These Imperial citizens not only do that, but they also use this knowledge to help them steer every single warp-capable craft in the Imperium. In this episode we discuss the absolute necessity of the Navigators, and what it would be like to live as one.

Joining us for this episode is Dylan, and a new guest Steve!

42 - Travelling the Void

February 15th, 2019

In this episode, we take the time to dissect the major faction's space faring technology. We talk about the technology behind their expansions, or lack there of.

Joining us for this episode, are James and Rio.

41 - The Dark Mechanicum

January 30th, 2019

Terrifying mechanical monstrosities. Horrendous flesh amalgamations. Unthinkable daemonic contrivances. The Dark Mechanicum is responsible for many disturbing creations aided by Dark Powers, but they also are the primary suppliers of the Chaos Space Marines, and keepers of the Traitor Titan Legions. In this episode we talk about what they do, how they do it, and most importantly, WHY they do it.

Joining us, once again, is Colyn.

Bonus Episode 7 - Solarray Enclave

January 24th, 2019

We managed to steal Peter away from his busy busy schedule, and chatted about the journey of his character Mon'praus of the Eternal Horizon. We also talk very briefly and disjointedly about the story of the Eternal Horizon and it's crew. This episode will contain spoilers if you haven't had a chance to listen to the RPG series and wish to.

Enjoy!

40 - Tau: The First Sphere of Expansion

January 16th, 2019

Would you leave your planet for a space journey that might end in disaster? Would you leave everything behind to find a new world and a new life? Well that's just what the Tau did in their First Sphere of Expansion! In this episode we talk about the Tau's first space endeavor, and their attempt to bring the Greater Good to the galaxy.

Joining us for the first time, is Megan. 

Eternal Horizon - Part 7

January 1st, 2019

Part 7

This is the tale of the Eternal Horizon, a Tau vessel sent careening across the galaxy in a warp storm. This was a home made pen and paper-esque game that was developed by Mark and Erik, and ended up being the back story for Mark's Tau army.

Please understand that these were originally not going to be distributed, and therefore the audio quality is not up to our regular standards, as well we were more interested in playing the actual game than worrying about how what we were doing would sound like to listeners.

Enjoy!

Eternal Horizon - Part 6

January 1st, 2019

Part 6

This is the tale of the Eternal Horizon, a Tau vessel sent careening across the galaxy in a warp storm. This was a home made pen and paper-esque game that was developed by Mark and Erik, and ended up being the back story for Mark's Tau army.

Please understand that these were originally not going to be distributed, and therefore the audio quality is not up to our regular standards, as well we were more interested in playing the actual game than worrying about how what we were doing would sound like to listeners.

Enjoy!

Eternal Horizon - Part 5

January 1st, 2019

Part 5

This is the tale of the Eternal Horizon, a Tau vessel sent careening across the galaxy in a warp storm. This was a home made pen and paper-esque game that was developed by Mark and Erik, and ended up being the back story for Mark's Tau army.

Please understand that these were originally not going to be distributed, and therefore the audio quality is not up to our regular standards, as well we were more interested in playing the actual game than worrying about how what we were doing would sound like to listeners.

Enjoy!

Eternal Horizon - Part 4

January 1st, 2019

Part 4

This is the tale of the Eternal Horizon, a Tau vessel sent careening across the galaxy in a warp storm. This was a home made pen and paper-esque game that was developed by Mark and Erik, and ended up being the back story for Mark's Tau army.

Please understand that these were originally not going to be distributed, and therefore the audio quality is not up to our regular standards, as well we were more interested in playing the actual game than worrying about how what we were doing would sound like to listeners.

Enjoy!

Eternal Horizon - Part 3

January 1st, 2019

Part 3

This is the tale of the Eternal Horizon, a Tau vessel sent careening across the galaxy in a warp storm. This was a home made pen and paper-esque game that was developed by Mark and Erik, and ended up being the back story for Mark's Tau army.

Please understand that these were originally not going to be distributed, and therefore the audio quality is not up to our regular standards, as well we were more interested in playing the actual game than worrying about how what we were doing would sound like to listeners.

Enjoy!

Eternal Horizon - Part 2

January 1st, 2019

Part 2

This is the tale of the Eternal Horizon, a Tau vessel sent careening across the galaxy in a warp storm. This was a home made pen and paper-esque game that was developed by Mark and Erik, and ended up being the back story for Mark's Tau army.

Please understand that these were originally not going to be distributed, and therefore the audio quality is not up to our regular standards, as well we were more interested in playing the actual game than worrying about how what we were doing would sound like to listeners.

Enjoy!

Eternal Horizon - Part 1

January 1st, 2019

Part 1

This is the tale of the Eternal Horizon, a Tau vessel sent careening across the galaxy in a warp storm. This was a home made pen and paper-esque game that was developed by Mark and Erik, and ended up being the back story for Mark's Tau army.

Please understand that these were originally not going to be distributed, and therefore the audio quality is not up to our regular standards, as well we were more interested in playing the actual game than worrying about how what we were doing would sound like to listeners.

Enjoy!

Bonus Episode 6 - The Nekhebet Dynasty

December 19th, 2018

Keeping along the theme of Necron, Erik finally wrote a short story about his Dynasty. It's not what you think... it's MUCH worse. If you want to tell him what you think, message us on Facebook at Lorehammer, or send us an email at lorehammerpodcast@gmail.com.

39 - Necron Dynasties

December 13th, 2018

Have you ever wondered what the difference between the Sautekh and the Mephrit was? Did you even know there was a difference!? Well buckle in and plug into the matrix cause we're about to find out! Today we talk about different Necron Dynasties as well as what comprises a Necron Court. Very briefly Erik also goes into what he thinks every good Necron story needs.

Joining us is no one, because we have run out of friends.

38 - Genestealer Cults

November 30th, 2018

"Well hello Citizen!" * A robed and hooded stranger hands you a pamphlet* "Have you heard of the cul- ahem I mean Church of the Four Armed Emperor? We have services twice a week in subsection 23B of the City! Yes we know thats far underneath the streets, but we like privacy. We'll see you there!"

You stare at the pamphlet and an unshakable desire to learn more takes a hold of you. You find your way to the meeting, and are warmly greeted by more hooded and hunched figures...

*50 years later*

You stare in rapture as your Father finally emerges from his throne. His will searing through your mind thanks to the Princely being beside him. You raise your gun and yell your cultish ululations as your family assaults a local governments office. Tears stream down your face as you see the spaceships of your God enter the atmosphere. Your ascension is here.

In this Episode we talk all about the Genestealer Cults!

Joining us again is James.

Listener Lore 2

November 21st, 2018

So we finally got around to recording another episode of Listener Lore! In this series, we read the stories and information that were submitted to us by our listeners about their armies in 40k. If we haven't read yours yet, stay tuned! There are many more to come. Soon. Hopefully. Who knows... hard to say.

37 - Ork Klans

November 14th, 2018

"All Orks is equal, but some Orks are more equal dan uvvas." - Goff Warboss Bugrat Skumdreg

Today we talk about the distinct personalities among Orks! What sets a Goff apart from a Bad Moon, or even an Evil Sunz! Get ready for some fun quotes and even weirder conversation. It's been a while since we recorded, so it took us a minute to get back into the swing of things.

Joining us today, for the first time, is a massive Ork fan all the way from Australia, Dylan!

If you want to know more about Erik offloading his poor choices (the Space Marine game key) check out our facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/lorehammerpodcast/

 

36 - Commorragh, the Dark City

October 24th, 2018

Commorragh. A vile, infested land of outsiders, bounty hunters and slaves. A breeding ground of a race so hedonistic, they birthed a god of Chaos with their immoral ways. Commorragh. The largest city to ever exist in the galaxy, so large that an entire planet could not wholly contain it. So large that it spans the entire galaxy. Commorragh. Riches untold are hidden in it depths, and knowledge so ancient that you would risk your very life to attain it.

Commorragh, the Dark City. Home of the Drukhari.

In this episode we discuss all things Commorragh! Joining us, for the last time, is Christian.

35 - The Path of the Eldar

October 11th, 2018

When your life had no meaning, we gave you a purpose. When you were wandering aimlessly, we offered you direction. When you were tempted by the overwhelming existence of the universe, we gave you focus. Come walk with us on the Path. Journey, and be redeemed.

In this episode we discuss the Path of the Eldar and how it protects the Eldar race from extinction.

Joining us, once again, is Peter, our resident Eldar Expert.

Listener Lore 1

October 3rd, 2018

This is the first episode in our Listener Lore series. In it, we read the stories and information that were submitted to us by our listeners about their armies in 40k. We recieved so many that we couldn't possibly fit it all in one episode, so stay tuned for many more to come!

34 - Ordo Hereticus and the Adepta Sororitas

September 26th, 2018

Have you ever caught your neighbour worshipping a daemon? How about them plotting a revolt against the Imperium? Practising black magic? It might seem like all hope is lost for their immortal soul, but WAIT! You can save them! Just report them to your nearest Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor and in no time at all that Witchhunter will have absolved your friend of all sin! You might never see them again, but thats the price you pay for redemption...

In this episode we talk about the second largest organisation within the Imperium, the Ordo Hereticus. We also talk about the military branch of the Church, the Sisters of Battle.

Joining us, for the last time, is Christian.

33 - Ordo Xenos and the Deathwatch

September 12th, 2018

Where does a Space Marine rise to when he is already the best? What further glories are there for him? Where might a Marine go when he must be punished for a transgression? Where would a shamed Marine go, where nobody even knows his Chapter? The Deathwatch of course! In this Episode, we discuss the Ordo Xenos, the Inquisitorial Ordo responsible for protecting the human race from the threat of the alien.

Joining us, once again, is Colyn.

32 - Ordo Malleus and the Grey Knights

August 31st, 2018

The Threat Beyond. That malicious temptation that claws at humanities mind in an attempt to turn all that we are into a mess of Chaos worshipping scum that go buy more GW models. If there was ever a need for a protector, this is it. These are the silent heroes; their deeds never shouted from battlements or paraded in the streets.

In this episode we talk about the Ordo Malleus and, more importantly, the Grey Knights. Joining us for the first time, is Brant the Broken.

31 - Nobody Expected the Inquisition

August 15th, 2018

What keeps you safe? What watches the night to make sure that the darkness doesn't consume you? What force prevents your soul from being seduced and compromised, and then "takes care" of you when it happens? Obviously Batman, but that's not what we're talking about today. Today is all about the Imperium's secret police. The Inquisition is a creation of the Emperor of Mankind, and as such knows no limits to their authorities. Today we will be setting the groundwork of the Inquisition to prepare you for your higher education of the Ordos Majoris in the coming episodes.

Joining us, once again, is Micah.

30 - Chaos Ascendant

August 1st, 2018

So you wish to wield Power, do you? You have felt the cravings? The desire to rid yourself of these paltry flesh bonds that you have? Then come closer... Listen to the voices in your head. Those voices so sweet, so beguiling, so... tempting. Give in to your cravings and give yourself. To Chaos.

In this episode we discuss those beings that have forsworn their souls to the Dark Gods. We talk about what gifts the Ruinous Powers bestow upon their servants, as well as what it takes to get them.

Joining us once again, is Skyler.

29 - Life of a T’au

July 18th, 2018

Welcome to the T’au friend! Now that you’re in the Greater Good, it’s necessary for you to learn about our culture. We have prepared this so you can contribute to your fullest potential. Kindly use our system to determine your place in our Empire! Even though we all know that you are at the bottom.

Joining us for this episode is Rio. 

Bonus Episode 5 - The Knights of House Arokis

July 5th, 2018

Welcome children welcome! Come, sit by the fire. Close your eyes and imagine with me. Imagine a time when great Metal Gods roamed these lands to protect us from the Beasts. When our sons and daughters were called by the Sorcerors to leave this land behind and journey into the stars to fight a Gods battle. You might think you know our history, the story of our people... You are wrong. Listen now, and learn from whence the House of Arokis was born.

This episode is about the story behind Mark's Knight House. It doesn't exist in 40k canon, but we truly believe that the universe only gets better when we add to it (within the realm of reason obviously... LOOKING AT YOU PRIMARIS MARINES!). If you enjoyed this episode and you happen to have something similar to share, we would absolutely love to read it, and possibly even share it! Please send us a message on facebook @lorehammer, or email us at lorehammerpodcast@gmail.com.

Enjoy!

28 - Tyranid Hive Fleets

June 21st, 2018

Behemoth. Kraken. Leviathan.

These are monsters, abominations, and terrors from Humanity's past. Terrible creatures of such unknowable size and power that the very names invoked fear and doom. In the days of the Glorious Imperium, these names have resurfaced to identify an enemy whose only desire is to feed upon our flesh, and in doing so grow ever stronger. 

Harken to our tale, and maybe the wisdom within can save your pitiful soul from the Great Devourer.

Joining us, for the last time, is Christian.

DISCLAIMER: Jordan was not with us during our recording so please forgive any messed up volume and levels. We don't know how to use technology.

27 - Ork Warlords

June 6th, 2018

"Oi! 'Ave ya eva wanted ta know 'oo da orkiest Ork of all be!? Den dis be da episode for ya! We gonna tell all dem humiez some gud storiez of da biggest n' baddest orks eva!"

 - Grukk the Face-Eater

In this episode we talk about some of the more famous Ork Warlords across the galaxy, as well as get into the craziness that Orks can be.

Joining us for the first time, are Colyn and James.

26 - C’tan

May 23rd, 2018

In the beginning of time; at the dawn of creation, the C'tan were born. Vast creatures whose very beings encompassed planets and even stars, they were ignorant of all life that existed... until one fateful day that a dying race, on the outskirts of the galaxy, chose to break that thin veneer of ignorance, and introduce them to life. Thus the Star Gods were born.

We were none of us prepared.

In this episode we discuss all things C'tan! Ever wondered who the real Old Ones were? Well you'll have to listen to find out!

Joining us, for the last time, is Christian.

Bonus Episode 4 - Homebrew Xenos and Shelf Armies

May 17th, 2018

Welcome to our bonus episode! As with all bonus episodes, this is in no way cannon lore and only exists to share our world of Warhammer with you... THE PEOPLE! In this episode we talk about the many times mentioned shelf armies that Mark and Christian have placed upon The Shelf. We go into detail about the backstory of each army, the model line chosen to represent them, and what rules they would play as.

Do you have a self created 40k army? Share it with us so we can viciously tear it apart! Just kidding. We’ll be impressed.

Joining us, for the last time, is Christian. 

25 - Harlequins

May 9th, 2018

This episode is all about Harlequins! Those clowns! Those jokers! Those thespians! Those... warriors!?!? Who would have thought that these Eldar would be among the most deadly of their race! If you didn't know that, then listen to the podcast! That's the whole point.

Joining us this episode, once again, is Peter. The most dramatic person we know.

24 - The Ecclesiarchy

April 26th, 2018

In this episode, we discuss the space church of the God Emperor. We'll share important information, such as what exact angle your legs should bend in supplication to the Emperor-Savior (spoiler alert, its 27.85 degrees). It's a long one, but it's a gooder so buckle up and break out those paint brushes and Imperial Creed notebooks!

Joining us for this episode once again, is Skyler!

23 - Adeptus Mechanicus

April 11th, 2018

In this episode we talk about the human robits responsible for the armaments of Humanity. You'll hear a breakdown of how the Mechanicus was formed, as well as the dfferent branches of this vast and seperate force.

Joining us this episode is Micah, a know it all friend that just has to correct us if he can.

22 - The Imperial Guard

March 29th, 2018

In this episode we discuss the Astra Militarum. This is the biggest fighting force that the Imperium of Man can bring to bear. This backbone of the Imperium is capable of throwing such massive numbers of bodies at an enemy, that the sheer weight of them is enough to ensure victory. Learn just how difficult it would be to imagine Humanity without its greatest display of power.

Joining us for this episode, is Paul.

21 - Forces of the Astartes

March 14th, 2018

In this episode we talk about force organisation of a Primaris Chapter. We also discuss the Space Marines role in the Imperium, as well as their support and war gears. Joining us, for the last time, is Christian.

20 - Creation of an Astartes

March 2nd, 2018

In this episode about the Adeptus Astartes, we discuss the origin of the Angels of Death. you can learn all about the physiology of the Space Marines and what actually seperates them from Humanity.

Joining us, for the very last time, is Christian.

*DISCLAIMER* If the episode feels disjointed, its because it is. We lost more than half the recorded episode and will resume with our next release.

Bonus Episode 3 - A Day in the Garage

February 22nd, 2018

In this bonus episode we talk about what we're currently doing hobby-wise. This is the episode where we bare our souls to your judgement and ridicule. Want to hear our opinion on your home brew army? Message us with the back story of your project and we just might share it! (we probablydefinitely will, we have nothing better to talk about)

Joining us, for the last time, is Christian.

19 - The Minor Xenos Races Part 4

February 14th, 2018

Finally. We have trudged through this swamp of information (or sometimes lack thereof) on as many of the xenos races as are listed on the Lexicanum website. We hope you enjoyed listening to them way more than we did preparing them (seriously, it was a struggle). But if you can manage to get through this last episode, we promise that there are even greater things beyond the horizon! Joining us for the first time, is Skyler. He actually has been connected with Warhammer for a while, and brings a fun take into the episode!

18 - The Minor Xenos Races Part 3

January 31st, 2018

We are almost done our minor xenos races episodes! Which is good cause we're sure you're as sick of listening to it as we are of planning them!

Joining us for this episode, is Rio, our Tau lover, and friend to all Xenos.

Bonus Episode 2 - Warhammer 40k plot holes, inconsistencies and our gripes

January 24th, 2018

Listen to us air our greivances about what we consider to be our biggest problems with the story, but also... what we really like about it. There might not be any hope in the 40k galaxy, but there definitely is in our hearts... oh wait. nope.

 

Joining us for the last time, is Christian.

17 - Abhumans

January 18th, 2018

In this episode we talk about the divergent human gene. There are many different kinds of humans and we all belong in the Emperor’s warm embrace.

NOT! Psych!

Joining us this episode is Paul, one of our most artistic friends!